What's it like to be a Gamma Phi Beta house boy???

My name is Jacob Roney and I work for the Zeta Rho chapter of Gamma Phi Beta. Formally I’m known as the “house boy” but I have often been referred to more colloquially as boy, slave, “you,” or my personal favorite, Jacob; though undoubtedly I prefer JabRoney.. The job description of a house boy is quite vague and elusive, while I was told I had been hired simply for kitchen scrub-work and the like, more often than not my position entailed doing anything and everything the house requires, which may include – but is certainly not limited to: moving furniture, Christmas and Halloween decorations as well as cheerfully belting out Seal’s newest musical masterpiece, a burden I carry with utmost respect. These responsibilities may indeed be difficult at times, but I rest assured that the benefits far outweigh these hefty costs. The obvious and wonderful perk of free leftovers is surpassed only by the ubiquitous atmosphere of beautiful girls. These perks, however, present evident quandaries that must be dealt with! Firstly, with whom do I share my delectable leftovers? And finally, will any of these girls find me moderately attractive enough to date??? Well, dear readers… fear you not! for I have the answers to both of these dilemmas! As to the first predicament, it is permissible to share tasty leftovers with your most favored roommate. And as for the second... Well… Kylie Jo Boykin certainly thinks so!